We’ve all been there. We’ve all had those moments where negative thoughts and nasty self-talk seeps into our minds and totally paralyzes us. That little voice that can empower us in so many ways can also be our own worst enemy. For some it’s easy to shake off, and for others, it lingers for weeks…months…even years, creating a cycle of self-sabotage.
Ever wonder why it seems like some people never even have negative thoughts or self-doubt at all? What do they tell themselves that just magically keeps them going? More importantly, what does it take to be part of that group? If you want to find out, you’ve come to the right place. Read on for 7 examples of common negative thoughts that many people experience, even successful folks, and a direct replacement of those thoughts that will shift your entire perspective.
So much of these negative thoughts start from a place of fear and self-doubt. The second you start questioning yourself, shift your mindset and create a sense of unwavering faith. “Things will work out. I’m going to make it happen. I deserve the good on the other side.” Say it out loud, over and over, or write it down until you truly believe it.
Do you know how much courage it takes just to try something? Do you know how many people go through life each day without letting themselves be challenged or learn anything new, because staying the same is safer than stepping outside the box? The next time you think you’re failing or can’t do something right, replace your thoughts with the message on the right. Growth is never comfortable. Learn to enjoy the failures and mistakes. It’s all part of the process that’s going to make you so much better, smarter, and stronger.
It’s easy to wallow. Be honest, it’s even kind of fun, isn’t it? I once heard the quote “the more you dwell on what you don’t have, the more you get what you don’t want.” And that is 100% true. So even when you want to wallow, feel like to world is against you, and just feel like everything is working out for everyone else but you, be grateful. Appreciate what you have today. If you’re able to read this article right now, I guarantee you have a lot to be thankful for. Be grateful and think about how you can align yourself closer with that you want. Lost your job and wishing you had more disposable income? Cut the unnecessary spending and use that time to look for jobs, or see how you can monetize on a side-hustle. The universe grants wishes to those who continue to appreciate the present moment and actually walk the walk when it comes to their deepest desires.
What would happen if you were to simply respond, “thank you!” to a compliment you received? The world would keep spinning, right? It would be a lot simpler than getting into all the potential reasons why that compliment isn’t true, right? Next time someone gives you a compliment, just allow yourself to believe them! Allow yourself to accept it, relish in how nice it feels, and pay it forward to someone else with a compliment of your own. Forget about all the reasons made up in your head about why the compliment can’t be true. You are worthy of that positivity.
You are only in competition with yourself. I repeat, you are only in competition with yourself. Music mogul Jimmy Iovine shared a quote in his 2017 HBO docuseries, The Defiant Ones, that I personally love and touches upon this so well. “When you’re a race horse, the reason they put blinders on these things is because if you look at the horse on the left or the right, you’re going to miss a step. That’s why the horses have blinders on. And that’s what people should have.” Focus on your path and your lane. You can’t see the real sweat and tears of others, and they can’t see yours. Your journey is unique. Focus on making it the best it can be and forget about comparing yourself.
It’s obviously impossible to go through life without some set of expectations. But the bigger the expectation, the bigger the potential for disappointment when things don’t exactly go your way. Remind yourself that so much good is yet to come, and many times a detour in life paves the way for even better opportunities. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t set any goals or plan for how your future can be as successful as possible. But being malleable to surprises and learning to go with the flow is one of the most important tools that successful and confident people master early on.
I don’t know a single artist, creator, educator, or entrepreneur that hasn’t felt a sense of real doubt when pursuing their dreams or when they are actually excelling at something. Known as Imposter Syndrome, this feeling impacts up to 70% of people and doesn’t discriminate between men or women. The next time it creeps into your head, remind yourself that you’re not only capable of doing what you wanna do, you’re out there in the world doing it! Something led you down this path, and you are going after it. That is major. You got this!
Thoughts are just that, only thoughts, until we give them importance. Ask yourself, which thoughts are you going to give importance to? Which thoughts are you going to allow to grow bigger, and which ones can just stay tiny and quiet? When that negative little voice starts talking, what bigger, louder voice can you use to drown the little voice out? Visualize it that way in your head and see where it takes you. The mind is the most powerful tool we have; it’s up to each of us to use it to our advantage.